Table 4 One

“I'm pretty, but I'm not beautiful. I'm sin, but I'm not the devil. I'm good, but I'm not an angel. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.” -  Marilyn M.   What is love? What is happiness? What is confidence? These are all questions that can be answered differently, depending on who you ask and at what time. I have always struggled with the fact that perception is reality… meaning, people view you as who you are through their perception and this can sometimes be the total opposite of the person you really are. This is a personal struggle of mine… to know that perception is IN FACT reality. “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times, hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”  - Marilyn M.   It’s also very easy to say , “I don’t care what people think, I know who I am, and I’m a great per...

I would not consider myself to be SUPER religious; however, I am a believer and I feel that attending church plays a big part in my sanity! I love my church… it’s a non-judgmental, comfortable environment where I feel I can be myself. And whether I need to cry (which is what usually happens), scream, shout, dance, or say absolutely nothing at all… its ok! And I absolutely love that! It fills me up, rejuvenates me, and prepares me for the challenges I will face in the future.   I often say that I know what I am looking for in a relationship, when in actuality I shouldn’t be looking at all! I try my best not to, but the “Superwoman” in me can’t help but look for certain attributes when dating someone. I try to recognize what I’ve learned in church about relationships because I feel that a true, long-lasting, and successful relationship cannot survive without some type of religious involvement.   Like I said, I am not SUPER religious, but it does play a big role in my life! ...

Do people REALLY date anymore? I mean, truly get to know each other and interact without physical gratification!?! I understand that this is not what some people are looking for. I know that some people don’t want to date because they are too afraid of being hurt. They’d rather meet people and have these meaningless encounters to fill space and they are satisfied with that! But that’s just not for me… I’m way too emotional for all of that! Don’t get me wrong; I tried it. I’ve had a few meaningless encounters in my day, but I’m off that and ready for something a little more concrete. But most of the men I’ve come in contact with are not willing to actually date or “court” women, as my Granny Grip used to say! I think it’s because women are not making this a requirement! It all boils down to self-worth. I know I’m worth it ALL… The wait, the joy, the laughter, the loyalty, a relationship! I haven’t always been here though… Actually knowing my worth. But more recently, I’ve realized ...

I am a person of action… I really don’t like to say what I am going to; I JUST DO IT! Have you ever had someone get your hopes up about something and never come through?!? As a child, I was very blessed with parents who very rarely let this happen, so it’s not something I’m used to! Call me spoiled, but that’s how I was raised. I expect the same thing with all of my interactions with people whether it’s friends, coworkers or family… but especially from someone I am dating. Why make false promises? Now, don’t get me wrong, I know things happen and you can’t always do the things you intend on doing… But I am speaking of the fairy tale builders and the ones who lay it on thick because they have other intentions. This is utterly ridiculous and I know it happens, because not only has it happened to me, but I have spoken to men who say that this is what they do! “I just tell them what I could do for them and they give me what I want just because I say I’m gonna do something!” Come o...

I for one ALWAYS follow the rules! I was a very obedient child and very rarely got in trouble.   But when it comes to dating I can’t figure out which rules to follow!   I like rules (to a certain extent) because they create boundaries, order, and accountability.   However, when it comes to dating, there are so many unwritten rules; I find it hard to keep up.   Especially with so many relationship books telling us how to act, what to wear, how to respond in situations, when to give up the cookies and how to respond in different situations… blah blah blah! I am completely confused with what's right and what's wrong… Between Steve Harvey, Dr. Love and whoever else claims to be an expert on relationships telling us what to do, women have completely morphed into puppets! Some women are calculating every single move they make when dating because these "experts" told them to!   Forgive my tone if I sound a little harsh but this whole "relationship expert advised...

I’d like to think that I am a great conversationalist and in order for me to be an affective communicator I must be a great listener.   Sometimes I talk too much…LOL, but my father says, “God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth, so we could listen twice as much as we speak”!   Lately, I have been trying to listen more to the things around me… But not just the obvious, like what I hear people say, but to the unconventional things like my instincts!   I never thought I had a womanly instinct to listen to because I guess I’ve never thought of myself as a woman!   (Weird, right?) I mean, I thought of myself as a woman, scientifically (let’s clear that up)…LOL, but I never thought I had experienced enough in life to adorn that title, until recently. But now that I view myself as a woman…as a W-O-M-A-N…I have begun to pay attention to the little things.   Butterflies in my stomach, second thoughts, angry reactions and whatever other signs may come.   I listen!   E...

I love Twitter; it gives me the opportunity to express myself and converse with people from all over the world.   And for the most part, my tweets are pretty positive.   But every now and then, I get a little down and want to express those feelings. So, I have a question for you:   Do you believe that it is possible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time? I tweeted this the other day: “I am grateful for what I have in my life, but I am not happy.” It sparked up a conversation with a few of my followers that made me want to express my reason for tweeting this a little further.   I just really wonder if this is possible… to be grateful, yet unhappy… For instance, some people are grateful for their job, but are not happy in it.   See, my biggest fear is for my gratefulness and faith to go unrecognized… I don’t want to have things taken away from me (or not given to me at all) because I am ungrateful for my current position in life.   I have t...