Table 4 One

When I was younger, I used to look up  to the Black women I saw on TV;  people like, Oprah Winfrey and Phylicia Rashad…I remember watching Oprah interview countless icons and ask them all the same question: “What do you know for sure?” I was always very intrigued to hear their answers and always used them as inspiration.  A few years ago , I had the opportunity to meet Phylicia Rashad and although I could barely get  the question out, I had to ask … “Ms. Phylicia, what do you know for sure?” Lately, I’ve been thi nking about her response and  challenged myself to answ er this very question … Nothing…If I’m being honest with myself; I know nothing for sure. As a 30- something year old woman who is still striving to figure out how to leave her mark on this world, I’ve realized I know nothing.  It’s kind of daunting though. T o realize that in my experiences of go od times, learning points, come- ups and even  setbacks, nothing is abs...

What happens when you get sick of trying?   I wrote a post a few weeks ago called, “I Wish...”.   When I wrote it, I was slightly frustrated with dating and was simply expressing my desire for a dating situation of substance.   Sometimes, we can “wish” ourselves into the wrong situations.   The fact that I want a meaningful relationship so badly, is probably hindering me from actually attaining one; because I put so much “wishing” into meaningless situations.   I’ve been thinking about this post since it’s gone up…just thinking if my words were perceived as I meant them.   I am not the girl who is sitting up “wishing” for a relationship, but it is very much on my mind.   It hasn’t consumed my life.   It’s just when I think about my current reality and how I’ve come so far, how I’m finally happy; I sometimes feel a little something missing.   But, as I was reading some writings from Maya Angelou this morning, I came across a quote...

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When I was a little girl, I saw a woman, who was very close to me, involved in a relationship with a man who abused her.   She would go away for a while and come back with bumps and bruises on her body.   I never asked what happened to her because I already knew… As a 6 or 7 year old child I was exposed to Domestic Violence.   No one ever explained to me what was going on because they assumed I would never figure it out.   But I did.   And I still remember what her face looked like when she would return after having an altercation with her abuser. To this day, Domestic Violence is becoming more prevalent and needs to be addressed.   Do me a favor and think about someone you love… Someone you truly care for… Now imagine them being afraid for their life because the person they are romantically involved with is abusing them.   Being afraid, unhappy, uncomfortable or held hostage in a relationship is not how it’s supposed to be.   A gr...

Think about your favorite season… I, for one, prefer summer because the sun is always shining, the temperature is perfect for ice cream and outdoor activities, and it just seems like people are in better moods!   When I think of seasons, I think of the elements that are present during that time, like snow in the winter, rain in the spring, leaves falling in the fall and sunshine in the summer.   This can also be the same for the relationships in our lives, because most of them go through seasonal changes. It’s very funny how life’s seasons teach us lessons.   Of course, everything happens for a reason and I try my best to look at each situation I’m faced with in life as a lesson to make me a better person.   People come and go in our lives like seasons…they come in, do their job and leave (at least that’s how it works in my life).   I suppose it’s to make us think, analyze, learn and grow as people.   I have learned to enjoy the time I have with people...

Are you forgiving?   I mean really, truly forgiving?   I know I try to be, but only when it’s granted. It actually takes a lot of strength to be forgiving; to take your feelings out of a situation and forgive the person who has wronged, hurt, angered, or WHATEVERED (yes, I made up a word) you!   I’m pretty sure it all boils down to the bigger situation and if it’s actually worth it.   But, that’s a personal choice. Before you decide to forgive someone, do you come up with grounds for whether or not they should be forgiven or is it a choice you make, regardless of their reasoning?   I, for one, am a pretty good judge of a meaningful apology and that’s usually all it takes.   I mean, we are talking about minor, non-life changing, silly, but still significant situations that can be corrected.   I mean, who are we to judge?   The most unforgiving people usually are in the wrong or in wrong situations themselves.   I wonder why that is? I won...

As I headed to church one beautiful Sunday morning with my mother by my side, I was optimistic.  This day, there was no struggle to wake up and take care of business, no slight headache lingering from the drinks I had the night before... No reason to make excuses. Prepared to fill-up for the new week, speak happiness into my life and hear my pastor preach... I was ready! I rushed up the pavement, hearing myself take every step, (something about hearing my footsteps makes me feel useful, prepared, strong, womanly) I was eager to get inside.  We sat down and I realized that my pastor, the person I was so eager to hear a word from, WAS NOT preaching.  I tell myself that it's okay, that I came to hear a word not a man and to give the guest a chance! As I preoccupied myself with reading the weekly bulletin, I heard a voice... A female preacher stood up in front of the church and spoke to us in such a beautiful tone... It sounded like she was singing.  I had no c...

I have to be honest with you… As I began to write this week’s post I found myself writing, re-writing, and editing what I had written… I found myself explaining why the post was so sad and discouraging.   I wrote about how I am ready for more… How I am trying to stay encouraged during what is pretty lonely holiday season for me.   And then, as I listened to Pandora Radio these words began to pump through my speakers: Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test. And no matter how you feel, speak the word and you will be healed; speak over yourself, encourage yourself in the Lord… This song is called Encourage Yourself by Donald Lawrence.   Although I have always loved this song and have turned to it in times of needed encouragement, there was something special about its timing on this particular day.   I was literally writing a post complaining.   Complaining about my personal life and how I want more. ...

Today, 12/12/12, the day of never before...   This is a once in a lifetime day!   I, along with several other people, am very excited and doing awesome things!   Some people are making wishes, others starting new ventures… and then there are the people who are living as if this day is nothing special! How many opportunities do you get to celebrate for nothing at all?   I, for one, like to take days like these… you know, the abnormal ones, and create something special!   I just like to have a reason to celebrate, smile, and enjoy myself!   To be honest with you, I didn’t give it much thought until midnight… Yesterday was quite a doozy for me…work was stressful, the day was long, and I couldn’t get through it fast enough.   For some reason, I was concentrating on some feedback I received a while ago and it was truly eating away at me.   It’s weird though, because I was feeling down for the entire day and then at midnight, I was given a...

As I look at this picture, I see more of myself than the normal person would.   This feather is not only beautiful, but it is free, detached, and open to vast opportunities.   It’s open to go anywhere.   It has no boundaries… This feather is me. I am so super excited for my future… As 2013 approaches, I am so excited for what’s in store for me as I, like this feather, am ready for anything…ready to see the fruits of my labor.   I am excited.   Open.   Eager.   Optimistic. This feather inspires me…this feather gives me a better outlook.   You may see something completely different.   I am grateful for my perception .   Stay tuned… Table for one please… If you ask me, I’m ready!   Love me or leave me alone… BACK TO HAPPY TIP:   If I can find hope in a single feather, you can find hope somewhere.   Stay positive, optimistic, and prayerful.   It’s coming.

“I’m proud of you!” “I can’t wait to see your dreams come true!” “You are great!” “Your life looks like so much fun!” “You are awesome!” As I cleaned my house last Sunday, I began to think of these words of encouragement and admiration that I hear from my friends and loved ones often.   I love words of encouragement and I will always be grateful for them… they keep me going.   The problem is I can’t see the things others see in me for myself.   Sad, right? My cousin sent me a text the other day that simply said, “I’m so proud of you!” and I was completely thrown off guard because it came at such a random time.   My reply was, “For what?!? LOL”.   The “LOL” is a significant part of my reply, because I truly chuckle at the fact that people see so much greatness in me!   It’s not low self-esteem, at all; I’m just trying to see it in myself… She said that she was proud of me because I have taken a situation (the breakup) that would have bro...

How often do you take the time to say “thank you”? I mean, being really grateful for where you are in life… I say “thank you” often; when I'm happy, sad, frustrated, confused... WHATEVER! I always try to remind myself that things could be worse… I've learned that no matter what, I will always want more... So, I thank Him, in the meantime… I could talk to you for days about how I want more of this or more of that, but I'd rather tell you why I'm thankful for what I already have. My parents are my biggest fans.   They are, without a shadow of doubt, #TeamCourtney!   They give me wonderful advice, they support me and all of my big ideas, they catch me when I fall, and will always be there for me. Not everyone can say they have both parents in their lives or their support; I am thankful for my mother and my father because they believe in me. Does your family work your nerves?!? LOL… Mine does! But I am SO thankful for them.   They challenge me to be my bes...

“You are looking for the perfect man!” I was completely shocked to hear these words come from my friend’s mouth, as we had one of our heart-to-heart conversations a couple of weeks ago.   And I know that this wasn’t a blurb or senseless thought because, as friends, we are always open and honest with one another.   So she meant it…she truly feels that I am single because I am looking for the perfect man!   Wow!   At first, I was defensive but then I challenged myself to take a step back and make sure that she wasn’t correct in her observation. I used to be a “one chance girl”, when it came to dating.   I’ve written before that I had to open my eyes and begin to date men who I normally would not, just to see if I was missing out something.   So I did; I pretty much went out of my comfort zone and I didn’t come across anyone I was super interested in, while reluctantly dating those men.   I would run away as soon as something went wrong.   I...