What I Know For Sure

When I was younger, I used to look up to the Black women I saw on TV; people like, Oprah Winfrey and Phylicia Rashad…I remember watching Oprah interview countless icons and ask them all the same question:
“What do you know for sure?”
I was always very intrigued to hear their answers and always used them as inspiration. A few years ago, I had the opportunity to meet Phylicia Rashad and although I could barely get the question out, I had to ask…
“Ms. Phylicia, what do you know for sure?”
Lately, I’ve been thinking about her response and challenged myself to answer this very question…
Nothing…If I’m being honest with myself; I know nothing for sure. As a 30-something year old woman who is still striving to figure out how to leave her mark on this world, I’ve realized I know nothing. It’s kind of daunting though. To realize that in my experiences of good times, learning points, come-ups and even setbacks, nothing is absolute…Not a job, not a relationship, not a mood and sometimes not even dail…

I Am Changing

What happens when you get sick of trying?I wrote a post a few weeks ago called, “I Wish...”.When I wrote it, I was slightly frustrated with dating and was simply expressing my desire for a dating situation of substance.Sometimes, we can “wish” ourselves into the wrong situations.The fact that I want a meaningful relationship so badly, is probably hindering me from actually attaining one; because I put so much “wishing” into meaningless situations.
I’ve been thinking about this post since it’s gone up…just thinking if my words were perceived as I meant them.I am not the girl who is sitting up “wishing” for a relationship, but it is very much on my mind.It hasn’t consumed my life.It’s just when I think about my current reality and how I’ve come so far, how I’m finally happy; I sometimes feel a little something missing.
But, as I was reading some writings from Maya Angelou this morning, I came across a quote that seemed to be written just for me, at this time in my life.
“A woman's hear…

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The BEST OF Table 4 One: Be Concerned... I Know I Am

When I was a little girl, I saw a woman, who was very close to me, involved in a relationship with a man who abused her.She would go away for a while and come back with bumps and bruises on her body.I never asked what happened to her because I already knew… As a 6 or 7 year old child I was exposed to Domestic Violence.No one ever explained to me what was going on because they assumed I would never figure it out.But I did. And I still remember what her face looked like when she would return after having an altercation with her abuser.
To this day, Domestic Violence is becoming more prevalent and needs to be addressed.Do me a favor and think about someone you love… Someone you truly care for… Now imagine them being afraid for their life because the person they are romantically involved with is abusing them.
Being afraid, unhappy, uncomfortable or held hostage in a relationship is not how it’s supposed to be.A great friend of mine often says, “Love doesn’t hurt…” and I completely agree.Hur…

The BEST OF Table 4 One: Seasons

Think about your favorite season… I, for one, prefer summer because the sun is always shining, the temperature is perfect for ice cream and outdoor activities, and it just seems like people are in better moods!When I think of seasons, I think of the elements that are present during that time, like snow in the winter, rain in the spring, leaves falling in the fall and sunshine in the summer.This can also be the same for the relationships in our lives, because most of them go through seasonal changes. It’s very funny how life’s seasons teach us lessons.Of course, everything happens for a reason and I try my best to look at each situation I’m faced with in life as a lesson to make me a better person.People come and go in our lives like seasons…they come in, do their job and leave (at least that’s how it works in my life).I suppose it’s to make us think, analyze, learn and grow as people.I have learned to enjoy the time I have with people, because I realize that it may only be for a season …

The BEST OF Table 4 One: A Forgiving Heart

Are you forgiving?I mean really, truly forgiving?I know I try to be, but only when it’s granted. It actually takes a lot of strength to be forgiving; to take your feelings out of a situation and forgive the person who has wronged, hurt, angered, or WHATEVERED (yes, I made up a word) you!I’m pretty sure it all boils down to the bigger situation and if it’s actually worth it.But, that’s a personal choice. Before you decide to forgive someone, do you come up with grounds for whether or not they should be forgiven or is it a choice you make, regardless of their reasoning?I, for one, am a pretty good judge of a meaningful apology and that’s usually all it takes.I mean, we are talking about minor, non-life changing, silly, but still significant situations that can be corrected.I mean, who are we to judge?The most unforgiving people usually are in the wrong or in wrong situations themselves.I wonder why that is? I wonder where I would be in my life if God didn’t forgive me for the things I do …

The BEST OF Table 4 One: The MILK and The HONEY

As I headed to church one beautiful Sunday morning with my mother by my side, I was optimistic.  This day, there was no struggle to wake up and take care of business, no slight headache lingering from the drinks I had the night before... No reason to make excuses.

Prepared to fill-up for the new week, speak happiness into my life and hear my pastor preach... I was ready!

I rushed up the pavement, hearing myself take every step, (something about hearing my footsteps makes me feel useful, prepared, strong, womanly) I was eager to get inside.  We sat down and I realized that my pastor, the person I was so eager to hear a word from, WAS NOT preaching.  I tell myself that it's okay, that I came to hear a word not a man and to give the guest a chance!

As I preoccupied myself with reading the weekly bulletin, I heard a voice...
A female preacher stood up in front of the church and spoke to us in such a beautiful tone... It sounded like she was singing.  I had no choice but to sit up straight…