Follow by Email

Friday, February 17, 2012

Progress

Time is known to heal all wounds and when my best friend in the whole wide world and my big sister were telling me this on a 3-way conversation we had when I first became single, I just couldn’t see it.  In fact, I was actually pissed with them for telling me that life would go on and that I’d be ok… That my relationship or the person I was with didn’t make me who I was.  And, of course, I now realize that they were right!

Once I finally got over the rejection, I was fine!  Better than fine; actually, I was different, I had made progress.  And more recently I have seen an enormous amount of personal progress in my life.  I’ve made the decision to focus on me.  To actually be selfish!  I have always been very giving and caring to my friends and loved ones… so much that I’ve sacrificed my own happiness in certain situations.  But, the new 2012 Courtney has decided that this part of me is over!  I am single for a reason and I choose to spend my energy working on myself, not others! 

My decision to not let the actions of others affect, my mood has really been working lately.  And I’m so proud of myself.  At first, it was hard because I was expecting so much from those around me.  But, I’ve had to stop depending on the actions of others for my happiness… A sister has got to do it for myself!

How much weight do the actions of others carry in your life?  Whether it be family, friends or significant others, how much power do they have?

As we know, Valentine’s Day (the most romantic day in the world and the flower business’ busiest day) was earlier this week.  Most of my single friends were without dates and although, not all of them were sad, one of them was.  She stayed in the house, instead of coming out and creating fun for herself… This really bothered me!  I told her that she HAS TO DECIDE that she will be happy, whether she is alone or in a relationship.  I told her that ever since I decided to take my life back, I’ve been just fine!  And the fact that I wasn’t in a relationship on the most romantic day of the year WAS NOT going to ruin my day!

So, I went out!  I had a blast too! I didn’t want to sit and give this great holiday my power... my joy...  Or wait on empty acknowledgements from the “friends” in my life… I could’ve even gone out with someone that I didn’t REALLY want to be with, just so I can say I wasn’t alone on Valentine’s Day, but I refused!  Because I am making personal progress, I own and control my happiness and not waiting on someone else to do it for me!  And knowing that I am in control of my life and hold the POWER to my happiness is a wonderful thing!

Progress.

Table for One please… feeling powerful... Love me or Leave me alone…

BACK TO HAPPY TIP: If you’ve gotten weak in some parts of your life, figure out what you need to do to take back that power!  Once you’ve got it back, you’ll be unstoppable!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Making You Wait


Let me first start by saying that I absolutely LOVE Jill Scott’s new CD, “In the Light of the Sun”.  It’s been in the CD player in my car, since last summer and I can’t take it out.  I’m enjoying the music so much and able to relate to a lot of the subjects she’s speaks about.  The songs about relationships and dating are the ones that touch me the most, because it is my current reality.

One particular song I kept going back to is called “Making You Wait”; it talks about taking a new relationship to the next level.  When is it too soon?  And ladies, when we wait, are we waiting because we feel we have to, so we aren’t viewed in a certain light?  Or are we waiting because we think we have to, in order to have a real chance at building a real relationship with the person we are dating?

Steve Harvey says, we should wait 90 days…

“In 90 days, they have checked you out. They determined if you were easy to work with, if you got along well with others, if you showed up when you said you were going to show up, if you were worthy.”
 
This is essentially what Jill is saying in her song as well…

“I’m making you wait/ Never too late/ I need to know if you’re worthy/ I’m making you wait/ Not to frustrate/ I need to know if you’re crazy”

Ladies, you do know that we have the power, right?  That whether or not a relationship goes to the next level is completely up to us!  Now, we just have to determine, personally, if we want to wait a certain amount of time and if so, for what purpose?  I don’t think that caring about developing a sour reputation or trying to snag a man is a good enough reason for me.  I also don’t practice the 90-day rule.  I think that time will tell; in some cases it may not take that long and in others it may take longer to know when the time is “right”.

I think it goes back to self-worth, like Jill and Steve both state… “Are you worthy”?  I believe “all of me” is something that should be earned and it really depends on where you are in your life!  Some people are looking to have a great time and live life in a way that is carefree and could care less about building relationships (and there is nothing wrong with that).  I think that people should live their lives the best way they see fit.  Personally, I am in a different place in my life…a place where relationships are important and having people who will bring positive interaction and opportunities into my life is essential.
 
If I live my life with a “fly by the seat of my pants” attitude, I could possibly get what I am looking for, but I think taking the physical out and actually getting to know the person I am dating is the path I am currently choosing to take.  I AM NOT a prude, I still want to have fun, but I want to know that the person I am dating is worthy of receiving all that I have… And it’s definitely worth the wait!

Table for One please… knowing my worth… Love me or leave me alone…

BACK TO HAPPY TIP: It’s ok to stick to what you believe in. Never sacrifice YOUR happiness for someone else’s.

Friday, February 3, 2012

LOST

Lost: Unable to find one's way; not knowing one's whereabouts: "they got lost in the fog".

I had a dream last night that has me kind of uneasy this morning.  I was in a hotel, about to leave for a cruise and when I boarded the ship, I realized I had left something important behind in my room.  So, I ran back into the hotel and my room was nowhere to be found.  I ran through the hallways, being sure to look at the numbers on the doors, but my room number had disappeared!  I panicked… I really needed to get away, to take a deep breath and concentrate on myself!  But, this careless mistake had me lost and looking for something that never seemed to be there in the first place!  Just as it looked like I had found what I was looking for (my room)… My alarm clock went off and I had to wake up and start my day. 


Dreams are something I often struggle with; I don’t know what they mean… They never come straight out and say “GO THIS WAY or DON’T GIVE UP, LET IT GO or YOU’LL BE OKAY”!  They always leave me with some weird situation to pick apart and relate to what I am going through at that time in my life. 

Lately, I’ve been trying to find my place in life, my purpose…

Why am I here!?!

I have found myself wanting to know my purpose in life.  In almost every aspect of my life, I am in limbo.  My career, my home life, my love life, and my health… I am in no way, shape or form saying that I am ungrateful for where I am, but I’m definitely not satisfied.  I need to find out what I need to do, in order to be where I want to be!  I want to be happy!  And in order to be happy, I feel like I need to find a place of satisfaction in these areas of my life.  But how?

I’ve decided to take a step back, write a plan, and attempt to accomplish some goals.  I don’t feel the need to broadcast what these goals are, because this is a personal battle.  Have you ever had to challenge yourself?  Not in an“I’m gonna lose five pounds, so I can get in this year's NYE dress” type of way… But in a real, challenging, life changing type of way..,. Well, I think that is where I am… I need to ask myself some serious questions and find the answers, so I can live my best life!

I am not sad, I am grateful that I am able to see that where I am in life is not where I want to be!  I have some real self-examining to do and I’m excited to see what I find.  How can I want a relationship with a person that has great attributes and has established a great place in their life and I can’t bring the same back to them!?!  Well, I’m up for the challenge and preparing myself for greatness!

"I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time…Know there was something that, something that I left behind…When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets…Leave something to remember, so they won't forget… I was here...” –Beyonce’


Table for One please… Realizing my potential… Love me or leave me alone!

BACK TO HAPPY TIP:  Take a long, hard look at yourself and figure out if you are really happy.  If you aren’t, then make the necessary plans to get there!  If I can do it…so can you!