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Friday, December 30, 2011

No Resolutions Needed

“Your dreams about the future are quite intense now, bringing excitement one minute and worry the next.  You’re beginning to realize that your plans are not unfolding as expected.  But rather than feeling discouraged or defeated, try to see this as an opportunity to reinvent yourself according to your vision and not someone else’s.  Let go of past goals that are no longer meaningful. Instead, get ready to step into the year ahead by setting new priorities for your life.”
I wanted to share my horoscope from yesterday with you because it was very fitting for today’s post.  I have been thinking about 2012 rapidly approaching and the things I want for myself in the New Year.  As I began to think of what I wanted everything on that list was in some way connected to “things’ in my past…
How can you have a future if your past is still present??
2012 is a new year, with new beginnings and I will have a new state of mind! I partied like a freakin ROCKSTAR in 2011 (partly to keep my mind off of the past) and I had a blast doing so, but 2012 will be different! Not in the typical “I’m going to lose 20lbs” or “I’m going to save a set amount of money” way but in a more focused and grounded way.
I plan to focus on me and not try so hard to please others.  Everyone is not going to be happy with Courtney all of the time and I’m not going to kill myself trying to make that happen! Have you ever tried to please others before pleasing yourself?? Well, it ain’t fun and although the “2011 Me” was a people pleaser the “2012 Me” will not be!  There are going to be some angry people in 2012 because I am definitely bringing the focus back to me!
I also plan to be more patient, not to be in such a hurry for things to happen in my life…Be it love, career moves, living arrangements or whatever! Good things come to those who wait and I am learning to be grateful for the “now” because, truth is, there’s someone patiently waiting to be where I already am!
2012 will come with great changes and challenges I’m sure, but not because of some unrealistic goals or resolutions I plan to set for myself, but because I am giving it no choice but to be better than my past!
Table for One please…looking forward not back…Love me or leave or leave me alone!
BACK TO HAPPY TIP: Don’t set unrealistic goals…Set attainable ones and when they are achieved you’ll feel FANTASTIC!!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Lights, Camera, FASHION!

Christmas is just around the corner and my spirit of giving has become very personal!  I have been shopping like I actually have extra money to spend!  Of course, while shopping for all my friends and family, I’ve found a few (meaning several) new items for myself!  It’s so sad… but I find it very hard to say “no” to shiny new things!

I am by no means a fashionista, but I would say that I am fashion forward!  I wouldn’t say that I am always on top of what’s hot or not, but I definitely make it work!  I’ve been bitten by the online shopping bug and have somehow found myself in shopaholic hell!  An addictive personality and free shipping DO NOT mix!

This is very, very serious!  But, the funny thing is… I make the best excuses!  LOL  I have 5 great reasons to justify my wallet-busting habits!

1. I’m single…I need to be cute when I go out!
2. The seasons change so often; I have to be prepared.
3. I must have shoes to match the clothes! (I can’t go out in a cute outfit and no shoes!)
4. As a growing professional, I need to have clothing that is appropriate for the workplace.
5. (Last, but not least) Any outfit posted on Facebook is archived and can never be worn again!

I love talking to my friends about fashion, getting and giving advice!  I know my closest friend’s complete closets and often find myself styling them…piecing outfits together for them, so we can all be cute!  I’m not selfish… I like for us to all walk in the room and turn heads!  LBVS… My crew DOES NOT have an “ugly friend!”

My mom is the cutest thing in the world!  I remember admiring her fashion sense when I was a little girl…she has great style!  Now that we are “friends” we talk fashion all of the time!  I am expected to come to her house every weekend before I go out, so she can see what I have on!  LOL  She’s so cute; she always has something great to say like, “Whoa, look at those legs!” or “You need a little more cleavage!”… LOVE HER!

I have to admit I cheat a little when it comes to staying on top of things!  I follow a great blog that concentrates strictly on fashion and spotlights the best and latest fashion trends!
(My friends & family think I come up with all of this fashion advice on my own… LOL)

Pearlie’s Fashion Passion is written by Natalie Dianne, a fabulous fashionista, who is dedicated to sharing her love of fashion with all of her followers!  She is a self-proclaimed diva on a budget with the ability to make off-the-rack fashions (i.e. Wal-Mart, Target, TJ Maxx, Marshall's...anywhere) red carpet ready.  She lives in what she describes as the “armpit of the United States”, Wichita, KS (a diva's nightmare), and would love to eventually work full-time in the fashion industry as a celebrity stylist!  CHECK HER OUT!

I have learned to have fun while discovering my fashion fingerprint… I try not to follow trends but it’s so hard not to!  You look up one day and realize you have jumped completely on the bandwagon!  Animal prints have completely made a comeback and I have been in leopard print heaven for a while now!  I have always loved leopard print, but when the rest of the world began to love it, I was ecstatic!  I have a leopard print wallet, clutch, socks, undies, shoes, shirts, dresses, earrings and anything else I saw in the stores that was leopard print!  I even have a leopard print heart tattoo!  Leopard print is my favorite color…LOL!

So, I was very saddened to see the other night while watching E! News that the animal print trend is up and will not be as prominent in 2012!  UGH!  I wanted to scream… I am having so much fun wearing my sexy prints and now they will probably slowly fade away.  But, I will not fret because I’m still gonna rock all of my favorite things until the trend circles back around!  At some point, you have to disobey the rules, which I don’t do often (but that’s a completely different post) and do what makes you happy!

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different. -Coco Chanel

I am having a blast discovering new ways to be fashionable.  I was very conservative when I was in a relationship and this single life has turned my style upside down!  I’m having a blast living my life… and I’m looking kind of cute while I’m doing it too!  LOL

Table for one please… finding my way… love me or leave me alone!

BACK TO HAPPY TIP:  Take a fashion risk… You might discover a new you!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Obey the Law

Have you heard of The Secret aka The Law of Attraction?

It is a metaphysical belief that "like attracts like" that positive and negative thinking bring about positive and negative physical results and respectively, is simply speaking things into existence! I believe in this whole-heartedly… That our thoughts, beliefs and state of mind have a massive impact on what actually happens in our lives.

For instance, when I was thrown into the single life, I was a completely different person for a while… Sad, quiet, extremely sensitive (to be honest, I’m always extremely sensitive), I was basically a wreck!  Then one day, I decided that I was no longer going to be this person!  I was claiming my joy and taking it all back… And I did!

Sometimes people count on you to be you!  And I was not providing my true self to my friends and family.  I have a friend who I have grown very close to in the past couple years.  She lives in Texas, so I hardly ever see her, but we are still close and I love that!  She will fuss when I’m wrong and rejoice when I’m happy… Our friendship is great and I love her to pieces!  We were recently having girl talk and I was in a public place giving very politically correct, unanimated answers… (For those of you who know me personally, you understand this is so NOT ME).  Well, she WAS NOT having it!  She said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with you or where you are, but call me back when you can be Courtney”!  LOL (So, I guess I really am back to me!)

Ladies, we have to know and understand our worth, with that being said, we cannot allow past situations to affect current ones!  Why give the past that much power!?!  We are much stronger than that! 

I am the first to admit that it is hard for me to trust men when starting something new…But I am learning and working on letting my trust issues go in new situations.  An insecure woman is so unattractive, even if she is amazingly gorgeous! So, we have to be careful how we react in certain situations. 

For instance, just because your ex cheated on you, doesn’t mean the new guy will!  Ladies, we have got to do better!  (I’m working on this too)  We cannot punish the new boo for the old clown’s mistakes!  If we treat a man like he is cheating on us… HE WILL!!!  If we constantly ask him where he is, who he’s with and start snooping around, he will def give us something to find!  I know it’s hard to start fresh, but this is a MUST!

I am going to speak great things into MY LIFE!  I will have a successful fulfilling career…I will have joy…I will have peace!  I WILL ENJOY MY LIFE!  And whoever comes along for the ride is in for quite the treat!

Table for One please…thinking happy thoughts…Love me or leave me alone!

BACK TO HAPPY TIP:  Leave your past behind, never allow it to affect current situations!  Live in the moment… Smile on purpose!

Friday, December 9, 2011

"If you're really a prince, I'll marry you..."

One of my favorite movies in the entire world is “Coming to America”.  It’s a side-splitting comedy about an African prince who goes to New York in hopes of finding a bride, so he won’t have to marry the princess his parents have chosen for him.  In the end, he finds love and they live happily ever after…Of course!
Isn’t that what happens in the movies?  Girl meets Boy…Girl falls in love…Boy falls too (eventually)… and they live happily ever after!  Movies have had me thinking this is what my life would be like as an adult!  Well they damn sure had me fooled!  It’s definitely not how my life has played out.
I always thought I’d be married and done having children before I turned 30… Well, I’m pretty close to 30 and that has yet to happen.  In fact, I don’t see it anywhere in my near future.  I don’t see my childhood prediction coming into fruition anytime soon. 
While dating, it’s been super difficult to encounter a man who actually wants to be in a monogamous relationship…let alone, get married!  In my experience, when we enter a relationship, as women, we are forced to wait until the man is ready to get married!  In this case, we can either stay and patiently wait until they are ready…or leave!  There really is no in-between and that is not cool, but it’s reality.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not one of those women out in the world, dating and “looking for my husband”.  I understand that what’s for me will come to me, in due time; however, I sometimes get a little impatient and frustrated while waiting for him to arrive!  I enjoy my life, most of the time, and am grateful for the people in it, but every now and then I think of where I would like to have been in my life by now.
As a little girl, I dreamed of dressing up like a princess and having my father “give me away” to my Prince Charming… Then having beautiful children who looked like a mixture of the two of us.  I want to have the American Dream…You know, get married, have children, the white picket fence and all of that!  But, this has yet to happen.
My childhood dream has matured a bit though… Meaning, I still want to get married, but I want to have a successful, kind, loving, loyal marriage, built on trust and spirituality.  I don’t just want a wedding… I want it all… Not just the dress, but the dream… Not just the cake, but the care… Not just the songs, but the solidarity… Not just the tradition, but the trust 
Now my mother, the hopeless romantic, is optimistic and basically has my wedding planned!  I am not there yet… I simply want an honest and loving relationship that will eventually turn into a family of my own.  Life has a way of showing us that all fantasies do not become reality.  I understand that I am in the real world, living an adult life and fairy tales are just that… TALES!  Now that my reality has set-in, I believe what Grace Kelley once said to be true, The idea of my life as a fairy tale is itself a fairy tale”.
Table for One please… Living my reality… Love me or leave me alone…
BACK TO HAPPY TIP: Find ways to make new memories… Living in the past will keep you stuck there!  New, good times will bring new, beautiful smiles & memories!

Friday, December 2, 2011

The MILK and The HONEY

As I headed to church one beautiful Sunday morning with my mother by my side, I was optimistic.  This day, there was no struggle to wake up and take care of business, no slight headache lingering from the drinks I had the night before... No reason to make excuses.
Prepared to fill-up for the new week, speak happiness into my life and hear my pastor preach... I was ready!
I rushed up the pavement, hearing myself take every step, (something about hearing my footsteps makes me feel useful, prepared, strong, womanly) I was eager to get inside.  We sat down and I realized that my pastor, the person I was so eager to hear a word from, WAS NOT preaching.  I tell myself that it's okay, that I came to hear a word not a man and to give the guest a chance!
As I preoccupied myself with reading the weekly bulletin, I heard a voice...
A female preacher stood up in front of the church and spoke to us in such a beautiful tone... It sounded like she was singing.  I had no choice but to sit up straight and pay attention.
It was like she and I were having a conversation.  I'd have a reaction to what she just said and she'd hit me with the perfect response.  I was amazed!  It was as if God was showing me that when He has something to say... HE WILL DO IT through any vessel He chooses.
The preacher addressed the congregation as if she was having a personal dialog with each member and it was inspiring!  She preached about how hard times are only preparation for the good times… That we have to go through “the wilderness” before we can get to “the milk and the honey”; I was ready to shout!  LOL!  She used these metaphors and explained them so plainly.  Saying that Milk represents strength, longevity, and health… While Honey is all of the good stuff; happiness, delight and truth… Fruition!
I just feel that sometimes I’m in the wilderness and wondering when I will get out!  I’m kind of in limbo, working on myself, waiting for something great to happen.  I am not necessarily where I feel I am supposed to be in life, but I’m on my way!  I feel like there’s one foot in the wilderness and I can see the milk and the honey, but I can’t taste it yet.  I know it’s there waiting on me, but I’m ready for it now!  All of it!! 
I know that life isn’t all sweet, but I just want to be happy!  I am currently living in the best times of my life (most of the time), but I also know that there is much more in store for me!  I’m just glad I have the milk and the honey to look forward to when I sometimes wander into the wilderness… I am ready for it all… I am ready for THE MILK & THE HONEY!
Table for one please…  Patiently waiting… Love me or leave me alone ;-)
BACK TO HAPPY TIP: Take a chance and try something new… You never know what (or whom) you may find… A new hobby, habit, friend or companion… Who knows?