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Monday, July 30, 2012

Breathe Easy

Unwinding after work on my couch is one of my favorite times. It’s not very often that I get to just sit still. So when I can, it’s me, the couch, and the television. The other day, I was watching one of my favorite shows, “So You Think You Can Dance”, a show that allows the top dancers in the country to compete for a title.

What I love about the show is that it allows viewers to see dancers and choreographers in rehearsal and learn the concepts behind the routines. As I watched, the choreographer explained that the routine was about a couple who was so in love that it took their breath away. What?!? Now, that’s LOVE!

I want some of that…

That stuff that gives you butterflies… I think I’ve been there before, once before, but now I’m ready for it for real and I want it to last. Dating is fun, not having time to get too serious with anyone because everything is all in fun. And yes, don’t get me wrong, I am having fun but…

I want some of that…

Some of my friends and family have it; I’ve seen it first-hand. But what’s for them isn’t necessarily for me. I learned to stop comparing what others have to what I have, a while ago. And no matter how hard I try to stop myself, I can’t help it…

I want some of that…

LOVE!

Not just someone/anyone to love, but that person who will “take my breath away”.  I know I often speak of my current “fun” dating life and it is fun…But every now and then, I turn into the hopeless romantic who wants that, “knock me out of the park”, “can’t live without”, “so amazing”, “take your breath away” kind of love. Yep, I AM READY!

But what does that mean?!? Just because I am ready, doesn’t mean that someone else is… I can’t just point my finger at the cute guy in the grocery store or the handsome man walking down the street and make him fall in love with me. So, what’s a girl to do?!?

Well, I’m not going to sit at home and watch love stories on TV, that’ll drive me ALL THE WAY crazy! LOL…I’ll just continue to date, work on myself, and live my life!

 It’s coming… My love… Guess I just have to breathe easy until he comes and takes my breath away…

Table for One please…  Learning to have some fun... Love me or leave me alone...

BACK TO HAPPY TIP: Don't take everything in live SO seriously... Learn to have fun it'll make you happy!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Regret

I have fun! I mean, I really have a lot of fun! I’ve actually made the choice to enjoy my life!

I am currently not satisfied with certain parts of my life… things that I just have to deal with at this time.  However, the parts of my life that I can control, I try to live them as carefree as possible!

I have enough to worry about, so when it’s time to have fun, I do just that! Yes, I drink, I dabble in smoking hookah…I love to dance, spending time with friends and family, singing songs out of key, and so much more. And when I get these opportunities… I LIVE IT UP!

However, sometimes in the midst of having all of this fun, I can make some crazy decisions!

Regret.

A good friend of mine once told me to ALWAYS listen to my instincts because they will never lead me wrong. I laughed at her, even though she was extremely serious during this conversation that I ruined by being silly, she was serious! She explained that my intuition will always be spot on and that I should never doubt it. But for some reason, even knowing what she said to be true, I hardly ever listen! And when I don’t… TROUBLE!

Regret.

Have you ever wanted to do something that you knew was wrong?!? I do, ALL of the time! My voice of reason is usually over-ruled by the shameless, fearless, dare-devil one! SMH…
I know that I shouldn’t give “this guy” my number or have “just one more martini” but for some reason, I end up doing it anyway!

Regret.

Now, I am not speaking of heavy, life-changing mistakes that affect the lives of others… These are simply bad decisions. I make mistakes often and regret them, the thing is… why?!? Why do I regret them? My regret mostly comes from the “what if!?!” What if I didn’t make that decision? How much different would my life be… This comes from years of small mistakes… And yeah, yeah, yeah, I know everything happens for a reason, but what if I messed up “the reason” by making careless mistakes?

Regret.

A great friend of mine once told me, NEVER regret! I called her just last week, actually to tell her about my weekend, and I was ready for the “WTH Court?!?” to come from the other end of the phone, but it never did! She was surprisingly calm and collected. She told me to chill out and move on! The decisions we make are the ones we have to deal with and that I would drive myself crazy trying to rewind and have a do-over! It’s done! So what’s next?!?

I SO needed to have this conversation with my friend, she helped me more than she knows! Now, I’m not saying that I will NEVER make another careless decision but I am learning to take everything for what it is… Just another step along this journey!  My journey…

Table for One please… Regret nothing… Love me or leave me alone!

BACK TO HAPPY TIP: You were given instincts for a reason… Listen to them!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Be Good To Yourself

As I sit at the bar, sipping my Lemon Drop martini, I am thinking about why my life has turned out the way it has... (Don’t worry, this isn’t a “woe is me” post, I promise). I believe people are given certain things in life, in God’s time, not theirs, and that’s what’s happening to me. 

Are you a person who cares what others think of you? I used to be that way… I used to care what people thought about what I wore, the things I said, who I hung out with and superficial stuff like that. And as I look back, I blame my father who every morning when I was a child, woke me up by singing, “You Are So Beautiful to Me”! What else is a girl supposed to think when she’s being serenaded this “self-esteem boosting” song! My father made me feel like I was the ONLY girl in the world, and as far as I knew, every man was going to treat me just like my daddy. 
 
This treatment always had my self-esteem through the roof, between my father’s serenades and my mother complimenting me every chance she got, I was hopeless! LOL I was the perfect little girl with the perfect life who everybody loved! Ha! What a joke? I soon found out that everyone IS NOT going to like you. I learned that my voice is annoying and on top of that, I’m loud…everyone doesn’t feel I’m as pretty as my mommy and I’m not going to get my way with everyone all of the time because everyone DOES NOT have to like me. This was a tough pill to swallow for a perfect little girl like me, but I eventually swallowed it.

Now don’t get me wrong, being thrown into this life did not turn me into a person with low self-esteem, but I did learn that people have opinions about the type of person that you are and they aren’t always going to be good.

MESSAGE: Everyone on this earth IS NOT going to like you!

It took me a while to accept this (to be honest, I’m still working on it), the fact that everyone doesn’t love me!! I mean, who couldn’t love me!?!? (Just kidding) But if everyone was the same and everyone liked everyone, this would be one boring life we lived!

I am faced with the same dilemma while dating, the fact that some dating situations don’t work out… Even the ones we want to! And that’s okay; it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you! I promise!

And you cannot get all down and out and in the dumps either, just because you haven’t found WHATEVER it is that you are looking for in life. I’ve learned to find other ways to keep a smile on my face… and one of them is having my daddy sing “You Are So Beautiful to Me” every once in a while.  And nope, don’t ask if he can sing it to you because I may need him to sing it to me a few more times until my “new song” arrives!

Here's Babyface singing my song... Take a listen!


Table for One please… liking and LOVING myself… love me or leave me alone :-)

BACK TO HAPPY TIP: Surround yourself with loving people; it’ll make your life much happier.

Monday, July 9, 2012

A Wonderful Change...

The other day, I saw a posting on Facebook that made me chuckle; it was witty, yet true, and touched on a subject that I often think about. The status read:

“If you only pray when you’re in trouble, then you’re in trouble…”


I wanted to give this person a high-five for posting this because as my prayer life has become more active, I’ve made it a point to think about my prayers. Although church/religion has always been a part of my life, I wouldn’t consider myself to be super religious. I go to church and I’m grateful for its role, but like everything else in my life, I could do better. I used to be afraid to pray because it felt so selfish, but that’s because when I prayed I was ALWAYS asking for something and it wasn’t until I got a better understanding of what prayer was that I made time for it. 

Prayer: A spiritual communication with God or an object of worship, as in supplication, thanksgiving, adoration or confession.

When I truly understood that I could just talk to God, my prayer life became more than just a scripted “Hallelujah” before bedtime. Now don’t get me wrong, I still ask for things to happen in my life, but they have become much less superficial and a lot more concrete.

I’ve never been one to pray for a husband… My mother and several women at my church have that covered already! I am speaking of attributes that will cater to my personal growth and things that are not superficial or replaceable… These types of prayers have become my personal preference. 

A recent dating situation taught me a lesson about prayer. I learned that I was personally asking for the wrong things. I was specific in the “things” I was asking for and I got them too! I believe that God gets a good laugh from us, every once in a while, because he sent me EXACTLY what I was asking for, only for me to find out that it was SO not what I wanted!

I actually had a discussion with my bestie about the situation and she was a little frustrated with me because everything that we had been discussing about what I would want in a partner, this man had! But something was missing and I made the executive decision to keep it movin’

I believe we evolve after certain experiences and my prayer life has definitely taught me some lessons. I’m sure this lifetime will teach me many more. Once again, I am grateful for the journey… No matter how long it may be…

Table for One please… prayer changes things… love me or leave me alone…

BACK TO HAPPY TIP: Take a really long hard look in the mirror and learn to love yourself… I’m sure you’ll realize that you are worth much more that you know!