Table 4 One

I started my car this morning and Beyonce’s song “Best Thing I Never Had” came blasting through my speakers.   As I drove to the train, I listened to the words and began to relate them to my life.   I began to think of how I can avoid these types of situations.   How can I keep the “unworthy” people out and have respectable, loving people of integrity in my life.   A friend of mine reminded me to pray for them, to ask God to bring “worthy” people into my life and to show me a TRUE BLUE sign if they are not!   BTW: I don’t mean “worthy” in a cocky, self-centered or conceited type of way.   I simply mean I want to have people around me who share the same beliefs and attributes as me. But then I needed to narrow it down and see what was most important.   As I ran several characteristics through my head, honesty stuck out the most.   Meaning, if I want nothing else from the people in my life, I want honesty. Now I have to be honest! (No pun intended) Learning to trust has been a struggle f

Summer is here, I’m cute and it’s time to party!   Its summer 2010, my first single summer in years and I’m ready to kick it!   In my past relationship, I was very loyal.   So, over the last few years I have had very little friends of the opposite sex, and I most definitely didn’t want to meet any new ones…For what?!?   I was in love and whatever this “new friend” wanted to do for me, I already had at home.   Well, this came back to bite me in the butt, because now that I was single, I had no one to turn to when I was lonely.   But, I was definitely ready now… Ready for new friends and new experiences… It was time for something new.   On a night out with my girls, a night I didn’t want to go out, might I add… I met a boy!   Have you ever had a day where no matter what you put on, you didn’t feel pretty?   Well, this was one of those days!   And understand that I have some cute friends, so I knew I’d feel inferior, but I went anyway.   I threw on a dress and was out the door… I wore hig

Ok… Seems as if I definitely need to set the record straight! I was a little eager in posting yesterday and although “Table for One” will only be updated once a week, I feel the need to clear some things up.   I have come a long way in my journey to happiness and although I wouldn’t say I am completely there… I am well on my way! Have you ever felt alone in a room full of people? Well I have… and I thought that it would be interesting to tell my story, because there were times when I felt very alone, even with tons of family and friends there to support me.   Although I knew that people get their hearts broken everyday and bounce back… I couldn’t see it.   The “light at the end of the tunnel” was non-existent! Slowly but surely I began to heal.   I began to do all kinds of new things and surround myself with loving people in order to do so.   I have met people in the past year and a half that will be my friends for the rest of my life.   In my case, I didn’t want to be a burden, mean

When you smile is it a true demonstration of how you feel? Or is it merely a mask? Well I have to be honest with you, almost every time I smiled last year (2010) it was merely a mask, a cover up, a façade! I was hiding my real feelings by smiling in spite of.   In spite of pain, a broken heart, loneliness, betrayal.   I was abruptly thrown into a life that I hadn’t seen in 5 years.   The Single Life… I was truly in unfamiliar territory; my relationship had consumed my life.   Every aspect of my life either directly or indirectly related back to my relationship in some way.   So now that I was alone… What was I to do?   Well, I tricked myself! Lbvs… I refused to be unhappy, to let my ex have that much control over my life!   So I gave myself (in my mind) one week to get all of the screaming, crying, blaming, cursing and depression out of my system. Then I became the “I don’t need a man to make me happy” beautiful single woman who was enjoying my life! (So I thought) I kept myself super