I started my car this morning and Beyonce’s song “Best Thing I Never Had” came blasting through my speakers. As I drove to the train, I listened to the words and began to relate them to my life.
I began to think of how I can avoid these types of situations. How can I keep the “unworthy” people out and have respectable, loving people of integrity in my life. A friend of mine reminded me to pray for them, to ask God to bring “worthy” people into my life and to show me a TRUE BLUE sign if they are not! BTW: I don’t mean “worthy” in a cocky, self-centered or conceited type of way. I simply mean I want to have people around me who share the same beliefs and attributes as me.
But then I needed to narrow it down and see what was most important. As I ran several characteristics through my head, honesty stuck out the most. Meaning, if I want nothing else from the people in my life, I want honesty. Now I have to be honest! (No pun intended) Learning to trust has been a struggle for me while dating. I am by no means generalizing or assuming all men are dishonest, but I have had back to back situations end badly because of a lies. Although I have learned not to assume the worst when dating, I can’t help but wonder if they are being honest while whispering sweet nothings in my ear…
For instance, I met a really nice man. He was no Idris Elba (but then again who is?) *fans self* Anyway, we clicked; he was very attentive and sweet. I had no complaints. He gave me the attention I craved, he was always available and he did little things throughout the day to let me know he was thinking of me. What more could I ask for? We had long in-depth conversations filled with laughter. Several fun-filled dates and I was enjoying getting to know him. We were getting closer, but I explained to him that I wanted to take things slow. And he agreed. No rush to get physical, we needed to take the time to get to know each other first. I really liked that. He was a little older than me, in his early thirties and things were moving along smoothly.
I didn’t feel the need to shout to the roof tops about how much I liked this man, because there was a little something in my gut telling me to hold back. So I said no biggie, nothing wrong with keeping my guard up. A few months passed and things were still going great. Then I thought, we’re friends right? Why not become facebook friends? So I looked him up! OMG!!! He definitely had a page…and it was filled with pics of him, his wife, his kids AND the dog!!! I was floored, shocked, PISSED!!! I could not believe it. This man had been deceiving me for months…and for what? Although I would have never given him the time of day had I known his situation, people lie about little things as well. I mean seriously… why lie? It’s much easier to put your intentions out there… You just might get what you want!!!
I am a very open person and my truth is just that, MY TRUTH. So it’s hard for me to tolerate liars especially in new situations. I was going to just leave him alone, not say a word and just erase him from my memory. But I couldn’t let it go! I had to give him a piece of my mind! And after I got it all out, I felt better. I see him from time to time and the look of shame on his face is priceless! I don’t want any more dodged bullets, I just want honest, caring people in my life who are worthy of me! And I will match ALL OF IT in return.
Table for one please…
This is my life, my current state of mind… Love me or leave me alone
BACK TO HAPPY TIP: Go out have a good time. Put on something pretty and go somewhere. Anywhere! When you feel pretty you have more fun! Well at least I do :-)