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Thursday, April 11, 2013

I Am Changing


Photo: Today's #table4one post "I Am Changing" will go up later this afternoon! Can't wait to see what you think... Everyone reaches a rough road along their journey nothing else to do but CHANGE! Can't wait to see what you think... ;-)

What happens when you get sick of trying?  I wrote a post a few weeks ago called, “I Wish...”.  When I wrote it, I was slightly frustrated with dating and was simply expressing my desire for a dating situation of substance.  Sometimes, we can “wish” ourselves into the wrong situations.  The fact that I want a meaningful relationship so badly, is probably hindering me from actually attaining one; because I put so much “wishing” into meaningless situations. 

I’ve been thinking about this post since it’s gone up…just thinking if my words were perceived as I meant them.  I am not the girl who is sitting up “wishing” for a relationship, but it is very much on my mind.  It hasn’t consumed my life.  It’s just when I think about my current reality and how I’ve come so far, how I’m finally happy; I sometimes feel a little something missing. 

But, as I was reading some writings from Maya Angelou this morning, I came across a quote that seemed to be written just for me, at this time in my life. 

“A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”

This quote seemed to slap me in the face, as I read it.  As I wiped the shock off of my face (feeling like Dr. Angelou was talking directly to me), I began to reflect on my purpose for dating.  Am I doing this because I don’t want to be alone or because I am really ready to date someone seriously?  Sometimes we put ourselves in situations to “hold us over”…well, at least I do!  Are my current situations “seat fillers” for the “one”?

I’m not sure if they are but I know that I am changing!  My perception, my wants, my needs have become more abundant, more meaningful… I’m not wanting to “see what happens” anymore.  I want to date someone who honestly is able and ready to handle a real relationship of substance.

As I become more grounded in my faith, I have prayed for preparedness for all things in my life.  I want to be ready and able to face whatever is placed in front of me.  I’ve been told by a lot of people that I am “too much to handle”, and I’ve actually begun to use it as a crutch.  But a conversation I had with a good male friend a few weeks ago, made me think a little differently.  He said, “People tell you that because they are afraid… You ARE NOT a lot to handle…”.  As we laughed, I started to believe him! 

I have always been an open book… If I am dating you and I am happy doing so, you will know!  In order to open up to someone, you have to take a chance.  Dating is all about taking chances, right?!?  From the initial show of interest… to the first kiss and beyond…

But I’ve realized that I have to be willing to be alone and patient, as I become properly prepared.  He’s out there for sure; I think my patience is just being tested as I continue to live my purpose.  My wants have changed and so have my needs.  And when it's all said and done... I'll be better then I am...

Table 4 One please… I am changing… Love me or leave me alone…

BACK TO HAPPY TIP:  Making decisions and sticking to them is hard… especially when change is involved… But in the end, you have to make YOU happy!

4 comments:

  1. Love this. Absolutely agree. Genius boo.... truly genius.

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  2. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be in love and in a relationship. I'm a firm believer that the biggest blessings happen at the times we least expect it. True love will be one of those blessings that will occur in your life. Trust yourself that you are on the right path. Don't forget to register the domain name thistable4two.com :)

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  3. Love this post. I Googled 'table for one' in search of recipes . . .for one. . . and found single gal just like myself wondering the same things as I am! Cheers and blessings to you. ; )

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    1. Awweeee thnks Jody please visit the new site to find more posts! www.thistable4one.com

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