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Friday, May 4, 2012

The Dating Game

Do people REALLY date anymore? I mean, truly get to know each other and interact without physical gratification!?! I understand that this is not what some people are looking for. I know that some people don’t want to date because they are too afraid of being hurt. They’d rather meet people and have these meaningless encounters to fill space and they are satisfied with that! But that’s just not for me… I’m way too emotional for all of that!
Don’t get me wrong; I tried it. I’ve had a few meaningless encounters in my day, but I’m off that and ready for something a little more concrete. But most of the men I’ve come in contact with are not willing to actually date or “court” women, as my Granny Grip used to say! I think it’s because women are not making this a requirement! It all boils down to self-worth. I know I’m worth it ALL… The wait, the joy, the laughter, the loyalty, a relationship!
I haven’t always been here though… Actually knowing my worth. But more recently, I’ve realized that patience is a virtue and when you rush into situations or use excuses to make them something that they aren’t, you can get into trouble. I pray for patience daily, especially when it comes to dating because I’m so eager for the feeling, I could easily get bamboozled (for lack of better words!). I’m grateful that, lately, my prayers have been answered and I’m able to dig down deep and find a little patience.
I’m really saddened by the lack of accountability women allow when dating someone. I was speaking to my aunt the other day, who asked a simple question… a question I couldn’t answer! “How long are you willing to “date” a man before things get serious?” And I don’t think she meant in a physical sense, I think she meant emotionally… and I, for ONCE in my life, was speechless. But now, as I have a conversation about dating with a few of my friends on Twitter I understand my silence…
I guess I my instincts were giving my answer, because I know my reason for not answering but couldn’t put it into words, until now… I am a woman who wants a relationship… That is definitely known. However, I WILL NOT jump through hoops, change who I am, lower my standards, or try to wear the pants in ANY dating situation because of what I want. I understand that a man should seek me and I’ve got to learn some patience in order for that to happen! My eagerness, sometimes, gets the best of me, which is something I’m working on daily… But when it’s time, he (whoever “he” may be) will make it happen…
Dating is fun! Why mess it up by jumping the gun and potentially ruining a situation that could be one of substance, just for some instant gratification? Now, I’m not saying that it should never happen, but it’s so much better when an actual connection is made because it’s appreciated more! Well at least in my experience, when waiting IS NOT an issue or something that is even discussed, priorities can get completely mixed up. I’m enjoying my current dating life and not feeling any pressure for anything! But as I said previously, you have to know your worth and what YOU want, and not everyone is ready for that. If you are looking for an interaction of substance, you have to act accordingly. Being “courted” is very rare these days and it takes a very patient woman to actually hold men up to these standards. And in actuality, I’d prefer not having to hold the person I’m dating up to these standards because it will be something they are looking for as well! I am patient and I think it’s paying off!
Table for One please… knowing what I want… love me or leave me alone :-)
BACK TO HAPPY TIP: Waiting is never fun.  So, it’s okay to distract yourself while waiting for what you really want to come around.  Plus, you never know what may happen…

1 comment:

  1. PROWD OF YOU FOR QOUTING YOUR GRANNY, A VERY WISE WOMAN!

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