Table 4 One

I started my car this morning and Beyonce’s song “Best Thing I Never Had” came blasting through my speakers.   As I drove to the train, I listened to the words and began to relate them to my life.   I began to think of how I can avoid these types of situations.   How can I keep the “unworthy” people out and have respectable, loving people of integrity in my life.   A friend of mine reminded me to pray for them, to ask God to bring “worthy” people into my life and to show me a TRUE BLUE sign if they are not!   BTW: I don’t mean “worthy” in a cocky, self-centered or conceited type of way.   I simply mean I want to have people around me who share the same beliefs and attributes as me. But then I needed to narrow it down and see what was most important.   As I ran several characteristics through my head, honesty stuck out the most.   Meaning, if I want nothing else from the people in my life, I want honesty. Now I have to be honest! (No pun intended) ...

Summer is here, I’m cute and it’s time to party!   Its summer 2010, my first single summer in years and I’m ready to kick it!   In my past relationship, I was very loyal.   So, over the last few years I have had very little friends of the opposite sex, and I most definitely didn’t want to meet any new ones…For what?!?   I was in love and whatever this “new friend” wanted to do for me, I already had at home.   Well, this came back to bite me in the butt, because now that I was single, I had no one to turn to when I was lonely.   But, I was definitely ready now… Ready for new friends and new experiences… It was time for something new.   On a night out with my girls, a night I didn’t want to go out, might I add… I met a boy!   Have you ever had a day where no matter what you put on, you didn’t feel pretty?   Well, this was one of those days!   And understand that I have some cute friends, so I knew I’d feel inferior, but I went anyway. ...

Ok… Seems as if I definitely need to set the record straight! I was a little eager in posting yesterday and although “Table for One” will only be updated once a week, I feel the need to clear some things up.   I have come a long way in my journey to happiness and although I wouldn’t say I am completely there… I am well on my way! Have you ever felt alone in a room full of people? Well I have… and I thought that it would be interesting to tell my story, because there were times when I felt very alone, even with tons of family and friends there to support me.   Although I knew that people get their hearts broken everyday and bounce back… I couldn’t see it.   The “light at the end of the tunnel” was non-existent! Slowly but surely I began to heal.   I began to do all kinds of new things and surround myself with loving people in order to do so.   I have met people in the past year and a half that will be my friends for the rest of my life.   In my case, I did...

When you smile is it a true demonstration of how you feel? Or is it merely a mask? Well I have to be honest with you, almost every time I smiled last year (2010) it was merely a mask, a cover up, a façade! I was hiding my real feelings by smiling in spite of.   In spite of pain, a broken heart, loneliness, betrayal.   I was abruptly thrown into a life that I hadn’t seen in 5 years.   The Single Life… I was truly in unfamiliar territory; my relationship had consumed my life.   Every aspect of my life either directly or indirectly related back to my relationship in some way.   So now that I was alone… What was I to do?   Well, I tricked myself! Lbvs… I refused to be unhappy, to let my ex have that much control over my life!   So I gave myself (in my mind) one week to get all of the screaming, crying, blaming, cursing and depression out of my system. Then I became the “I don’t need a man to make me happy” beautiful single woman who was enjoying my life! (...