Follow by Email

Thursday, September 22, 2011

For Friendship or For Love...

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. ~ Bruce Lee

We all know the story of Love & Basketball, but just in case you are one of the few people on earth who hasn’t seen it…Quincy and Monica are childhood friends who are nothing more than just that, until their senior year of high school when things change.  They decide to become more than friends.  Their relationship has its ups and downs, but they eventually live happily ever after.
Well, I tried to make this movie a reality in my own life a couple times.  I’ve had great friendships with men that were just that, friendships.  But my last two relationships, which lasted for several years, didn’t quite turn out like the movie.  Both of them ended abruptly, leaving me with feelings of pain and regret.  What did I gain from these relationships?  These are friendships that are ruined and will NEVER be the same again.  I’m not so sure they were worth it…Worth losing two good friends.  But, the euphoric feeling I had while in these relationships is irreplaceable.  The feelings were different in both of these relationships, as were the dynamics, but the euphoria…that “I can’t feel my feet”, “floating on air”, “walking on sunshine”, feeling like the girl in your favorite love story, was the same.  I loved both of them differently and for very different reasons but I often wonder if I had to do it all again…would I?  I’m not so sure.
Well, the cycle continues…I have a couple friends who seem as if they are trying to ease their way into a relationship with me.  And just think about it, it’s really hard to remain friends when a loving connection is already there.  If I already love this person as my friend, it’s kind of hard to let what could potentially be a great relationship go down the drain.  The ball is in my court, but I have to learn to draw a line.  A big, bold, black line with a permanent marker!
I have to stop myself from taking this kind of risk.  As bad as I want to let my guard down, I CANNOT!  I’ve been burned two times in a row…and in a minute, I’m gonna be out of friends!  LOL!  My mother (for those of you who don’t know, is a hopeless romantic) says that the third time may actually be a charm.  I’m not convinced!
There is one friend of mine who is very persistent and not backing down in his efforts of pursuing me.  And I must admit, it’s VERY hard to resist.  But at this point, I’ve gotta protect my heart.  But it’s so intriguing that HE would be attracted to ME!  I mean, he has been my friend for several years, even before my previous relationships and the type of women he usually dates look NOTHING like me!
So, why me?  Am I convenient?  Or is the attraction actually there?  I have given in a little though…We have kissed a few times.  And the way he kisses me… OMGEEEEE!  It’s ridiculous and extremely intimate.  But I definitely have to leave this one alone because I am truly playing with fire!  I want him to remain my friend and in order for that to happen, I need to separate myself from him.  I refuse to lose another great friendship.  I’ve gambled enough.  I’d rather have my friend.
So for now, it’s still a Table For One please… All of me, flaws and all… Love me or leave me alone…
BACK TO HAPPY TIP: Laugh out loud!  Literally…Even if it’s not that funny, learn to laugh at the little things.  Laughter is the best medicine.  ;)


2 comments:

  1. You can't let the last dudes mistakes effect what the new guy is trying to pursue... If he's a real man & really want's you (In every way) then his being persistent will not stop.... #WordUp

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm not saying he's not a good man... All of the men I consider to be my friends are "real" "good" men. But I dont think I'm willing to cross the line!

    ReplyDelete