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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Nobody's Perfect

“You are looking for the perfect man!”

I was completely shocked to hear these words come from my friend’s mouth, as we had one of our heart-to-heart conversations a couple of weeks ago.  And I know that this wasn’t a blurb or senseless thought because, as friends, we are always open and honest with one another.  So she meant it…she truly feels that I am single because I am looking for the perfect man!  Wow!  At first, I was defensive but then I challenged myself to take a step back and make sure that she wasn’t correct in her observation.

I used to be a “one chance girl”, when it came to dating.  I’ve written before that I had to open my eyes and begin to date men who I normally would not, just to see if I was missing out something.  So I did; I pretty much went out of my comfort zone and I didn’t come across anyone I was super interested in, while reluctantly dating those men.  I would run away as soon as something went wrong.  It’s almost like I was looking for an excuse not to date them.

So, I took my challenge a step further… I decided to give the men I was dating more room for error.  I say this because, for lack of better words… Shit Happens!  I make mistakes, of course; especially when dating, so I had to realize that other people make mistakes as well.

I know, understand, and accept that I am A LOT to handle… I’m a woman!  With all of that being said, I know that every man cannot handle me!  When I date, I look for certain attributes from that person…NOT perfection.  I have to get to know them enough to decide if I want to invest the time to get to know them better and lately I haven’t wanted to do that with anyone!

As my friend and I continued to have our heart-to-heart, she said something that really stuck and gave me a little more understanding of dating.  She said, “When a man loves, he gives her all of his love at once; however, when a woman loves, it grows throughout their time together”…

This statement stuck with me, as I have heard variations of it from other people, as well… My friend is not the only person who views me as “looking for perfection”.  I am not willing to risk investing into a life with someone who I am not willing to entrust with “all of me”.

Another friend asked me what exactly I am looking for in a partner…

I am looking or waiting for someone who will appreciate me when I am at my best and comfort me when I am at my worst.  I want someone who is goal-oriented and driven, in their own right.  I want someone who is equally yoked.  I want someone I am attracted to.  I want someone who is NOT perfect, or perfect for me… perfection is over-rated.  I want someone who is willing to grow into “their best” with me… As I grow into “my best” with them.  I don’t want perfection, I want substance.

Table for One please… Still growing… Love me or leave me alone.

BACK TO HAPPY TIP:  You should value the opinions of your loved ones.  People who truly love you, always have your best interest at heart.

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