Nobody's Perfect

“You are looking for the perfect man!”

I was completely shocked to hear these words come from my friend’s mouth, as we had one of our heart-to-heart conversations a couple of weeks ago.  And I know that this wasn’t a blurb or senseless thought because, as friends, we are always open and honest with one another.  So she meant it…she truly feels that I am single because I am looking for the perfect man!  Wow!  At first, I was defensive but then I challenged myself to take a step back and make sure that she wasn’t correct in her observation.

I used to be a “one chance girl”, when it came to dating.  I’ve written before that I had to open my eyes and begin to date men who I normally would not, just to see if I was missing out something.  So I did; I pretty much went out of my comfort zone and I didn’t come across anyone I was super interested in, while reluctantly dating those men.  I would run away as soon as something went wrong.  It’s almost like I was looking for an excuse not to date them.

So, I took my challenge a step further… I decided to give the men I was dating more room for error.  I say this because, for lack of better words… Shit Happens!  I make mistakes, of course; especially when dating, so I had to realize that other people make mistakes as well.

I know, understand, and accept that I am A LOT to handle… I’m a woman!  With all of that being said, I know that every man cannot handle me!  When I date, I look for certain attributes from that person…NOT perfection.  I have to get to know them enough to decide if I want to invest the time to get to know them better and lately I haven’t wanted to do that with anyone!

As my friend and I continued to have our heart-to-heart, she said something that really stuck and gave me a little more understanding of dating.  She said, “When a man loves, he gives her all of his love at once; however, when a woman loves, it grows throughout their time together”…

This statement stuck with me, as I have heard variations of it from other people, as well… My friend is not the only person who views me as “looking for perfection”.  I am not willing to risk investing into a life with someone who I am not willing to entrust with “all of me”.

Another friend asked me what exactly I am looking for in a partner…

I am looking or waiting for someone who will appreciate me when I am at my best and comfort me when I am at my worst.  I want someone who is goal-oriented and driven, in their own right.  I want someone who is equally yoked.  I want someone I am attracted to.  I want someone who is NOT perfect, or perfect for me… perfection is over-rated.  I want someone who is willing to grow into “their best” with me… As I grow into “my best” with them.  I don’t want perfection, I want substance.

Table for One please… Still growing… Love me or leave me alone.

BACK TO HAPPY TIP:  You should value the opinions of your loved ones.  People who truly love you, always have your best interest at heart.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"If you're really a prince, I'll marry you..."

One of my favorite movies in the entire world is “Coming to America”.   It’s a side-splitting comedy about an African prince who goes to New York in hopes of finding a bride, so he won’t have to marry the princess his parents have chosen for him.   In the end, he finds love and they live happily ever after…O f course ! Isn’t that what happens in the movies?   Girl meets Boy…Girl falls in love…Boy falls too (eventually)… and they live happily ever after!   Movies have had me thinking this is what my life would be like as an adult!   Well they damn sure had me fooled!   It’s definitely not how my life has played out. I always thought I’d be married and done having children before I turned 30… Well, I’m pretty close to 30 and that has yet to happen.   In fact, I don’t see it anywhere in my near future.   I don’t see my childhood prediction coming into fruition anytime soon.   While dating, it’s been super difficult to encounter a man who actually wants to be in a monogamous relat
Read more

Weddings & Babies... Weddings & Babies...

All around me, there is love & life!   I am so happy for all of my friends who have found love and are adding to their families.   It’s no secret that my mother, the hopeless romantic is ready for me to have a baby.   In fact, last Tuesday (my birthday) we had “the talk” for the 100 th time.   She explained that she is not going to wait much longer for me to find the “man of my dreams” and get married!   I only have two more years to get pregnant and have a baby!   LOL!   She is very serious about this… And don’t get me wrong, I would like to have children, but in my own way… She is not tryna hear that at all!   There are certain things I expected to happen in my life and although things haven’t quite turned out like I envisioned, I have to live with what I’ve got.   How do you think I feel?   With the exception of a select few, almost all of my friends are currently in love, married, engaged, or pregnant!   And I am very happy for them, but I can’t help but think, “I wish that
Read more

A Forgiving Heart

Are you forgiving?   I mean really, truly forgiving?   I know I try to be, but only when it’s granted. It actually takes a lot of strength to be forgiving; to take your feelings out of a situation and forgive the person who has wronged, hurt, angered, or WHATEVERED (yes, I made up a word) you!   I’m pretty sure it all boils down to the bigger situation and if it’s actually worth it.   But, that’s a personal choice. Before you decide to forgive someone, do you come up with grounds for whether or not they should be forgiven or is it a choice you make, regardless of their reasoning?   I, for one, am a pretty good judge of a meaningful apology and that’s usually all it takes.   I mean, we are talking about minor, non-life changing, silly, but still significant situations that can be corrected.   I mean, who are we to judge?   The most unforgiving people usually are in the wrong or in wrong situations themselves.   I wonder why that is? I wonder where I would be in my life if God didn’
Read more