“You are looking for the perfect man!”
I was completely shocked to hear these words come from my friend’s mouth, as we had one of our heart-to-heart conversations a couple of weeks ago. And I know that this wasn’t a blurb or senseless thought because, as friends, we are always open and honest with one another. So she meant it…she truly feels that I am single because I am looking for the perfect man! Wow! At first, I was defensive but then I challenged myself to take a step back and make sure that she wasn’t correct in her observation.
I used to be a “one chance girl”, when it came to dating. I’ve written before that I had to open my eyes and begin to date men who I normally would not, just to see if I was missing out something. So I did; I pretty much went out of my comfort zone and I didn’t come across anyone I was super interested in, while reluctantly dating those men. I would run away as soon as something went wrong. It’s almost like I was looking for an excuse not to date them.
So, I took my challenge a step further… I decided to give the men I was dating more room for error. I say this because, for lack of better words… Shit Happens! I make mistakes, of course; especially when dating, so I had to realize that other people make mistakes as well.
I know, understand, and accept that I am A LOT to handle… I’m a woman! With all of that being said, I know that every man cannot handle me! When I date, I look for certain attributes from that person…NOT perfection. I have to get to know them enough to decide if I want to invest the time to get to know them better and lately I haven’t wanted to do that with anyone!
As my friend and I continued to have our heart-to-heart, she said something that really stuck and gave me a little more understanding of dating. She said, “When a man loves, he gives her all of his love at once; however, when a woman loves, it grows throughout their time together”…
This statement stuck with me, as I have heard variations of it from other people, as well… My friend is not the only person who views me as “looking for perfection”. I am not willing to risk investing into a life with someone who I am not willing to entrust with “all of me”.
Another friend asked me what exactly I am looking for in a partner…
I am looking or waiting for someone who will appreciate me when I am at my best and comfort me when I am at my worst. I want someone who is goal-oriented and driven, in their own right. I want someone who is equally yoked. I want someone I am attracted to. I want someone who is NOT perfect, or perfect for me… perfection is over-rated. I want someone who is willing to grow into “their best” with me… As I grow into “my best” with them. I don’t want perfection, I want substance.
Table for One please… Still growing… Love me or leave me alone.
BACK TO HAPPY TIP: You should value the opinions of your loved ones. People who truly love you, always have your best interest at heart.