Table 4 One

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago… *le sigh* and it was beautiful!  Normally, I wouldn’t be too excited about going to a wedding, as a single woman (with no date).  But this one, in particular, was one I had been looking forward to attending for a while. As my ridiculously beautiful friend walked down a gorgeous staircase to take the hand of her soon-to-be husband, I was filled with joy and thoughts of well-wishes for the happy couple.  This was surprising to me, not because it was an unusual feeling to have, but because I had prepared myself for feelings of envy and sadness for myself and when that didn’t happen, it was a complicated feeling. It makes me feel horrible and selfish, inconsiderate and rude to know that I had actually prepared myself to feel this way! And on top of that, it didn’t even happen! I love this couple. They are my friends, so don’t get me wrong, the feelings I thought I would have were completely personal and had nothing to do with my being happ...

As a single woman, I for one, find so much comfort in confiding in and talking to my single friends.  Not all of my friends are single; some of them are married with children.  But, for the most part, the women I interact with on a daily basis are young, beautiful, successful and living happy lives… They also happen to be single. The more and more I think about it, I realize that we are more than likely in each other’s lives for a reason.  I don’t know about y’all, but at times (when I am feeling lonely or not having a good ”single girl” day) I look to my friends as an example that it’s not just me, that I am not alone, and I’m not “less than” just because I happen to be single. And as selfish, superficial or immature as it may seem, it’s a little comforting to know that I am not rowing this “single girl boat” alone.  We are each other’s example that we are “ok” and personally, sometimes I need a reminder.   Being a single woman, I have the luxury of going ou...

Pandora is a wonderful music app that I use on my phone every day.  It actually gets me through my day! And although I listen to a variety of stations, depending on my mood, the Tamia station is my absolute favorite and the one I listen to most.  Not too lovey dovey but its mellow enough to keep me jamming throughout the day! For the most part the rotation is not repetitive but these last few days “Almost” a song by Tamia plays at least twice and I’m not sure if I’m paying more attention to the lyrics because it’s very relevant to a recent situation… but the words really have me thinking about a certain someone. Here’s the chorus: I missed the times that we almost shared I miss the love that was almost there I miss the times that we use to kiss At least in my dreams Just let me take my time and reminisce I miss the times that we never had What happened to us we were almost there Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had Never almost had you   ...

“I'm pretty, but I'm not beautiful. I'm sin, but I'm not the devil. I'm good, but I'm not an angel. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.” -  Marilyn M.   What is love? What is happiness? What is confidence? These are all questions that can be answered differently, depending on who you ask and at what time. I have always struggled with the fact that perception is reality… meaning, people view you as who you are through their perception and this can sometimes be the total opposite of the person you really are. This is a personal struggle of mine… to know that perception is IN FACT reality. “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times, hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”  - Marilyn M.   It’s also very easy to say , “I don’t care what people think, I know who I am, and I’m a great per...

I would not consider myself to be SUPER religious; however, I am a believer and I feel that attending church plays a big part in my sanity! I love my church… it’s a non-judgmental, comfortable environment where I feel I can be myself. And whether I need to cry (which is what usually happens), scream, shout, dance, or say absolutely nothing at all… its ok! And I absolutely love that! It fills me up, rejuvenates me, and prepares me for the challenges I will face in the future.   I often say that I know what I am looking for in a relationship, when in actuality I shouldn’t be looking at all! I try my best not to, but the “Superwoman” in me can’t help but look for certain attributes when dating someone. I try to recognize what I’ve learned in church about relationships because I feel that a true, long-lasting, and successful relationship cannot survive without some type of religious involvement.   Like I said, I am not SUPER religious, but it does play a big role in my life! ...

Do people REALLY date anymore? I mean, truly get to know each other and interact without physical gratification!?! I understand that this is not what some people are looking for. I know that some people don’t want to date because they are too afraid of being hurt. They’d rather meet people and have these meaningless encounters to fill space and they are satisfied with that! But that’s just not for me… I’m way too emotional for all of that! Don’t get me wrong; I tried it. I’ve had a few meaningless encounters in my day, but I’m off that and ready for something a little more concrete. But most of the men I’ve come in contact with are not willing to actually date or “court” women, as my Granny Grip used to say! I think it’s because women are not making this a requirement! It all boils down to self-worth. I know I’m worth it ALL… The wait, the joy, the laughter, the loyalty, a relationship! I haven’t always been here though… Actually knowing my worth. But more recently, I’ve realized ...

I am a person of action… I really don’t like to say what I am going to; I JUST DO IT! Have you ever had someone get your hopes up about something and never come through?!? As a child, I was very blessed with parents who very rarely let this happen, so it’s not something I’m used to! Call me spoiled, but that’s how I was raised. I expect the same thing with all of my interactions with people whether it’s friends, coworkers or family… but especially from someone I am dating. Why make false promises? Now, don’t get me wrong, I know things happen and you can’t always do the things you intend on doing… But I am speaking of the fairy tale builders and the ones who lay it on thick because they have other intentions. This is utterly ridiculous and I know it happens, because not only has it happened to me, but I have spoken to men who say that this is what they do! “I just tell them what I could do for them and they give me what I want just because I say I’m gonna do something!” Come o...