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Friday, August 26, 2011


Are you a “side chick”?  Does your man take you around his family?  Does he take you around his friends?  Do you speak to him throughout the day?  Have you ever been to his house?  If your answer to most of these questions is NO, you just might be a side chick!  Now, I know some people are okay with being in this position, but I for one, AM NOT!
When dating I like to receive a substantial amount of attention.  Not necessarily to consume the life of the person I’m dating, but I like to know that I am the one person that is receiving most of their attention.  Some women are okay with sloppy seconds, being the “chick on the side”, but it’s just not me!  I am too spoiled, loud and in need of attention to be in that position…I just don’t have it in me!  I was used to being in a relationship, receiving all of the attention and all of a sudden I’m supposed to take what I can get!?!  NO! I don’t think so!
Some women are okay in this role and they play it well…They stay in their place, accept the amount of time they have with “their man” and keep it moving.  They like not being too attached or committed; I guess they get a rush from it all…I believe in karma and I know that I wouldn’t want a woman sneaking around with my man knowing I was the one he was coming home to.  So, I just CANNOT bring myself to do it!  I’m worth more.
I have a good amount of male friends and some of them are in relationships.  I am always respectful of their relationships.  A while ago I had an issue with one of my male friends; the girlfriend didn’t want us to be friends.  I have known both of them for years…Even prior to their relationship, so her insecurity about me was a shock.  I think she was intimidated by my beauty…LBVS.  We would text regularly about insignificant topics and she would always find something wrong with us communicating.  Eventually, I scaled down my interaction with him, only out of respect for him and his relationship.
Although this particular friend was not trying to be anymore than friends, there is a male friend of mine who wants more than friendship.  This friend is also in a relationship and it’s very insulting to know, that he would expect me to accept being a “sometime chick” when he is away from his girlfriend!  At first, I was a little open to the idea because he insisted that he was unhappy and would be out of the relationship soon.  HOWEVER, months later, he was in the same situation…Happy girlfriend, happy home, happy relationship.  Yet, he was always eager to see me.  Now, I refused to get physical with him, only because I believe that what goes around comes around.  And, I knew that even speaking intimately with him was disrespectful and I wouldn’t want that to happen to me, so I HAD to cut him off.  He wouldn’t leave easily though…The way he responded, you would think that we were in a truly intimate relationship.  I just didn’t feel right and I would have ended up with the tears and hurt feelings in the end. 
I am very happy in the decision that I made to not accept this second hand treatment. Ladies, we have to take a stand and know our worth.  Stop accepting this behavior from men who claim they care for you.  I can only speak for myself when I say I’d rather be alone than a second option. You decide your worth!
BACK TO HAPPY TIP: Forgive yourself, don't blame yourself for things gone wrong in your life! How can you ever move forward if your are stuck on things you feel you've done wrong in the past!?!

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