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Friday, March 30, 2012

Because I've Got FAITH!

I love Twitter; it gives me the opportunity to express myself and converse with people from all over the world.  And for the most part, my tweets are pretty positive.  But every now and then, I get a little down and want to express those feelings. So, I have a question for you: 
Do you believe that it is possible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time?
I tweeted this the other day:
“I am grateful for what I have in my life, but I am not happy.”
It sparked up a conversation with a few of my followers that made me want to express my reason for tweeting this a little further.  I just really wonder if this is possible… to be grateful, yet unhappy… For instance, some people are grateful for their job, but are not happy in it. 
See, my biggest fear is for my gratefulness and faith to go unrecognized… I don’t want to have things taken away from me (or not given to me at all) because I am ungrateful for my current position in life.  I have tricked myself into believing I was happy in the past, so are these feelings of gratefulness pure?  Or are they forced because I know that I am supposed to be grateful?
I feel selfish, like I am complaining (and have been for a while now) about my current place in life and I am so much more blessed than other people in this world.  But I need physical validation for my happiness.  Does that make sense?  Tangible, real-life, undeniable proof that as a single, beautiful, loyal, honest, open, yet dissatisfied woman, I still have things to be grateful for. 
I know that I have a lot of personal growth to do… to become happy with myself; my problem seems to be concentrating on what I don’t have, instead of what I do.  I had a coworker walk up to me during my lunch break early last week, and tell me that my attitude is so positive that he wants me to stop by his office and say hi, just like I do the person whose office is next door to his…LOL!  He says he wants me to stop by and give him just as much joy as I give everyone else.  How amazing is that?  That was truly shocking, because of all days for him to tell me this… he chooses a day when I’m feeling very down and holding back tears, as I feel sorry for myself…
I now see that what I perceive others to have, in fact may not be the case.  Because, obviously, the perception others have of me is completely different than how I see myself sometimes.  I am not some sad, “woe is me” person, who is a ball of emotions EVERYDAY.  But I do have those days and it’s interesting to see how people actually view me, and it makes me think…  Am I doing the same for others?  Is the grass really greener on the other side?  Because from where I’m standing, the grass is green, flowers are bloomed, beautiful butterflies are flying around and music is playing…LOL!  It just looks to be so much better.
I’m finding that this journey called life is just that… a journey.  I know that I’ve still got a long way to go before I actually find my way… my purpose… my joy.  So, I’m going to try not to be so sad while waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel.  And I KNOW it’s coming!  I just know it… Because I’ve got FAITH!
“Just because you can’t see the air, doesn’t stop you from breathing.  And just because you can’t see God, doesn’t stop you from believing.  That’s what you call faith”.
– The Preacher’s Wife

Table for One please… I STILL believe… Love me or leave me alone…
BACK TO HAPPY TIP: Faith… Even if it’s the size of a mustard seed is enough to get you through any rough patch! Have faith that what you are waiting for will come! And if it’s for you IT WILL COME!   

2 comments:

  1. Don't worry be happy, just because u r not where u want to b dosen't mean that u r in a bad place. You will NEVER b completely satistfied as long as u have goals. Your last quote about faith is the key!

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  2. This hits close to home, as many of your other posts due! Lbvs... It doesn't surprise me about what your coworker said. Many times we are blessings to others, unknowingly. In this case, he was a blessing to u. OAN: Your message is so true! My faith is what keeps me on the right path! :)

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