Table 4 One

I have to be honest with you… As I began to write this week’s post I found myself writing, re-writing, and editing what I had written… I found myself explaining why the post was so sad and discouraging.   I wrote about how I am ready for more… How I am trying to stay encouraged during what is pretty lonely holiday season for me.   And then, as I listened to Pandora Radio these words began to pump through my speakers: Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test. And no matter how you feel, speak the word and you will be healed; speak over yourself, encourage yourself in the Lord… This song is called Encourage Yourself by Donald Lawrence.   Although I have always loved this song and have turned to it in times of needed encouragement, there was something special about its timing on this particular day.   I was literally writing a post complaining.   Complaining about my personal life and how I want more. ...

Today, 12/12/12, the day of never before...   This is a once in a lifetime day!   I, along with several other people, am very excited and doing awesome things!   Some people are making wishes, others starting new ventures… and then there are the people who are living as if this day is nothing special! How many opportunities do you get to celebrate for nothing at all?   I, for one, like to take days like these… you know, the abnormal ones, and create something special!   I just like to have a reason to celebrate, smile, and enjoy myself!   To be honest with you, I didn’t give it much thought until midnight… Yesterday was quite a doozy for me…work was stressful, the day was long, and I couldn’t get through it fast enough.   For some reason, I was concentrating on some feedback I received a while ago and it was truly eating away at me.   It’s weird though, because I was feeling down for the entire day and then at midnight, I was given a...

As I look at this picture, I see more of myself than the normal person would.   This feather is not only beautiful, but it is free, detached, and open to vast opportunities.   It’s open to go anywhere.   It has no boundaries… This feather is me. I am so super excited for my future… As 2013 approaches, I am so excited for what’s in store for me as I, like this feather, am ready for anything…ready to see the fruits of my labor.   I am excited.   Open.   Eager.   Optimistic. This feather inspires me…this feather gives me a better outlook.   You may see something completely different.   I am grateful for my perception .   Stay tuned… Table for one please… If you ask me, I’m ready!   Love me or leave me alone… BACK TO HAPPY TIP:   If I can find hope in a single feather, you can find hope somewhere.   Stay positive, optimistic, and prayerful.   It’s coming.

“I’m proud of you!” “I can’t wait to see your dreams come true!” “You are great!” “Your life looks like so much fun!” “You are awesome!” As I cleaned my house last Sunday, I began to think of these words of encouragement and admiration that I hear from my friends and loved ones often.   I love words of encouragement and I will always be grateful for them… they keep me going.   The problem is I can’t see the things others see in me for myself.   Sad, right? My cousin sent me a text the other day that simply said, “I’m so proud of you!” and I was completely thrown off guard because it came at such a random time.   My reply was, “For what?!? LOL”.   The “LOL” is a significant part of my reply, because I truly chuckle at the fact that people see so much greatness in me!   It’s not low self-esteem, at all; I’m just trying to see it in myself… She said that she was proud of me because I have taken a situation (the breakup) that would have bro...

How often do you take the time to say “thank you”? I mean, being really grateful for where you are in life… I say “thank you” often; when I'm happy, sad, frustrated, confused... WHATEVER! I always try to remind myself that things could be worse… I've learned that no matter what, I will always want more... So, I thank Him, in the meantime… I could talk to you for days about how I want more of this or more of that, but I'd rather tell you why I'm thankful for what I already have. My parents are my biggest fans.   They are, without a shadow of doubt, #TeamCourtney!   They give me wonderful advice, they support me and all of my big ideas, they catch me when I fall, and will always be there for me. Not everyone can say they have both parents in their lives or their support; I am thankful for my mother and my father because they believe in me. Does your family work your nerves?!? LOL… Mine does! But I am SO thankful for them.   They challenge me to be my bes...

“You are looking for the perfect man!” I was completely shocked to hear these words come from my friend’s mouth, as we had one of our heart-to-heart conversations a couple of weeks ago.   And I know that this wasn’t a blurb or senseless thought because, as friends, we are always open and honest with one another.   So she meant it…she truly feels that I am single because I am looking for the perfect man!   Wow!   At first, I was defensive but then I challenged myself to take a step back and make sure that she wasn’t correct in her observation. I used to be a “one chance girl”, when it came to dating.   I’ve written before that I had to open my eyes and begin to date men who I normally would not, just to see if I was missing out something.   So I did; I pretty much went out of my comfort zone and I didn’t come across anyone I was super interested in, while reluctantly dating those men.   I would run away as soon as something went wrong.   I...

Lessons!   I love them; I believe that life is used to teach us…   The experiences we have whether good or bad should be used to grow. I have found that I learn the most lessons from the experiences of others. I’ve been fortunate enough to have open and honest friends who I talk to on a regular basis.   I’ve recently tried to make my experiences mean something.   Meaningless interaction is for the birds!   No one wants to feel alone… Having great friends who you can be completely “you” with, is not only comforting but extremely necessary... I recently had a heart-to-heart conversation with a very good friend of mine and it got REAL.   I had to make the decision on how/where this completely necessary conversation was going to go.   As a friend I had to make the decision to be completely honest (whether it helped or hurt my friend) because I needed to!   We all know that the grass is always greener on the other side but sometimes we need a ...

When I was a little girl, I saw a woman, who was very close to me, involved in a relationship with a man who abused her.   She would go away for a while and come back with bumps and bruises on her body.   I never asked what happened to her because I already knew… As a 6 or 7 year old child I was exposed to Domestic Violence.   No one ever explained to me what was going on because they assumed I would never figure it out.   But I did.   And I still remember what her face looked like when she would return after having an altercation with her abuser. To this day, Domestic Violence is becoming more prevalent and needs to be addressed.   Do me a favor and think about someone you love… Someone you truly care for… Now imagine them being afraid for their life because the person they are romantically involved with is abusing them.   Being afraid, unhappy, uncomfortable or held hostage in a relationship is not how it’s supposed to be.   A gr...

I’ve been talking to people a lot lately, not just running my mouth (that’s easy…) but I’ve been having real conversations, conversations about real issues that have been very enlightening.   I’m super open, always have been.   I think that it’s the best way to make progress… to be honest with yourself! I talk to myself a lot too! LOL, I’m not crazy… I just want to make sure I am being completely honest with myself in all situations.   When I say I am content, I mean it!   The reason I know is because I ask myself often and I see clear examples in my behavior.   I compare the way I react currently in certain situations to the way I’ve reacted in the past.   A part of it is becoming more mature, but it’s also got a lot to do with how I’ve learned to accept where life has brought me. It’s completely possible to lie to yourself, especially when you are “in your feelings” so I make SURE that I am what I say I am! I see people on Facebook, Twitter a...

Setbacks… Have you ever had one? I almost had one the other night.   I ran across some old pictures and decided to look through them. I normally don’t do this because I know they will take me back to a time when I was Dangerously in Love and I just don’t need to go back there.   But I looked anyway… I ran across a beautiful picture of me and my ex, we looked so happy… we were at my cousin’s 30 th birthday party dancing.   I looked at the picture for a second (which was way too long in my opinion). It was a candid shot, so neither one of us was looking at the camera.   The photo seemed to tell the whole story of what our relationship embodied.   Joy, love, fun, passion, friendship, all of that and more…   It kind of upset me to know that I felt all of this emotion from looking at this picture for literally one second.   So after my glance I tossed in the trash because all that the picture represented is gone and will never be back.   ...

Love.   I’m pretty sure it’s my favorite word.   But not just because I’m a hopeless romantic, it’s so much more than that… I believe that it’s an action, not something superficial to just be thrown around with insignificance.   Because for me, it has so many different roles in my life. I love God.   Now, I don’t normally go all super religious but how can I talk about love and not mention the One who loved me so much He sacrificed His only Son?!?   I mean, I am who I am, have the blessings, talents and sanity I have because of who He is!   My strength, joy, faith, LIFE comes from God.   I am truly blessed with many gifts and he continually blesses me!   I love God.   Sacrificial LOVE . I love my family.   I am talking about the people you are stuck with…LOL!   The people who you couldn’t get rid of if you tried.   Family is who I am.   I’ve inherited good AND bad habits, learned the true meaning of patience,...

I’ve been struggling for a while about whether or not to give the whole “Basketball Wives” effect on the black woman’s reputation any more attention than it’s already gotten. As I watched Evelyn Lozada on Iyanla Vanzant’s “Fix My Life” earlier this week, I realized that I had to address a few things. I believe the behavior displayed on “Basketball Wives” should be used as a lesson, a test or an example of how we SHOULD NOT act or react in certain situations.   I am a strong believer that every action has a reaction and that we will always have consequences for the bad decisions we make, whether they are direct or indirect… as Iyanla says, “it’s going to cost you.” Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that Evelyn deserves any of the things that have happened to her, I am not an “I told you so” type of person, we all need some improvement, however it’s definitely made me think about my actions and where I am in my life! I posted a status jokingly on Facebook the oth...

I’ve never thought of myself as a fearful person… Cautious maybe, but never fearful…   Being afraid would make me a coward and that is something I definitely am not!   But as I look at how I sometimes live my life, I realize that I may be living in fear. Fear of being hurt, fear of failure and the biggest one of all, fear of being alone!   To be honest with you, I’m afraid of trusting a situation enough to just “jump”… Be it a relationship, a new business venture, or everyday decisions.   This fear is most definitely holding me back!   But I refuse to let it take control. This fear has, in fact, become my motivation…my reason to press on, move forward, and take a chance!   And if I fall, I fall.   I’ve talked about this before, but I think I’m able to face it all with a different point of view now. What happens when you are too afraid to do something?   Lately, I’ve learned to ask myself where the fear comes from… Am I afraid of failu...

I often speak of how much of a “girlie girl” I am… and it’s true!! I love jewelry, make-up, shoes, shopping, love stories, musicals, and anything that sparkles! I love being a girl; I get to wear dresses for no reason at all and smile at cute guys whenever I feel like it! When it comes to dating, I have found that most men appreciate the fact that I am “girlie”! The men I attract like to see me dressed up and womanly in my skirts and heels! And I take FULL advantage!   I am definitely not the “I am woman, hear me roar!” type of woman though. I like to feel taken care of…gas pumped, tires changed, car washed, boxes lifted, and all of that good stuff. I did have an independent woman moment a few months ago when I put windshield wiper fluid in my car though! LOL! But seriously, I am no “damsel in distress”, however; I do love to feel like a woman! I mostly take pride in the fact that I am a black woman! I often joke with my bestie that I am a regular black chick...